The Pissed-Off Person’s Guide to Kindness
Written while listening to Bono of U2 belting out “…don’t let the bastards grind you down.” (from “Acrobat” on Achtung Baby released in 1991)
Gary Vaynerchuk (Twitter and IG: @garyvee), the CEO of Vayner Media (Twitter: @vaynermedia) and the bombastic evangelist of entrepreneurship and contemporary brand building, has been on a crusade lately.
He would argue that it is a crusade he has been on from the beginning of his career. But, in recent months, it seems to have taken on a new shape and volume. While Vaynerchuck might be seen by some as a bit brash, it is his most recent admonition to entrepreneurs that might be his most radical idea ever.
In a world full of angst — where creating change seems like climbing a hill that is perpetually, mockingly tilting higher — where governments, systems of finance and media conglomerates propagate and profit from conflict — Vaynerchuck offers a wry smile and asks a stunningly simple question: what if we were all just… kind?
Preposterous, oui? Naive, nein? Or maybe… hmm… just maybe its effing brilliant.
Okay, let’s get the bona fides out of the way. I’m a rock ’n roll kid (although, if I was still playing, I would definitely be on the metaphorical Senior Tour). My R’NRPOV has led me to rebel against virtually every authority figure, institution and system I have crossed paths with in my lifetime. While no one would ever have called my music “punk rock”… in my heart, I’ve always felt a little punk-ish.
Unfortunately, deeply rooted in my punk rock ethos is an undeniable anger. It’s always my intention to channel that anger into something more resembling righteous indignation, but in truth, I am pretty much just pissed off.
All. The. Time.
This is why Vaynerchuck’s most recent foray into viral positivity caught my attention.
What is this “kindness” of which he speaks? If I try it, will it be used against me? What if I try it and people don’t reciprocate? What if they laugh? Will it be seen as weakness?
Or am I, perhaps, missing the point? Is Vaynerchuck saying that kindness isn’t transactional? That offering kindness, with no expectation of return, is in itself the reward? That being good to someone is actually… good for me?
This is starting to ring a bell. If my Sunday School memories serve, there was something about a rule made of some kind of precious metal, I believe. Maybe I’ll google it later.
But seriously… is the idea that after all the strife, frustration and pain, we are now supposed to just send a thoughtful bouquet of flowers to our so-called enemies? Well, why not? (figuratively speaking, of course)
What if we just decided to not let competing business ideologies, different belief systems (both religious and secular) or — god forbid — differences of opinion, keep us from being decent to each other? What if, instead, we proactively offered kindness? Grace? What if we used our shared humanity as the focal point, rather than weaponizing our heterogeneity?
The more I think about this, the more I think Vaynerchuck’s idea isn’t all that preposterous, after all. Sure, it might be a bit naive. But if kindness truly is an act that not only brings positivity to others, but to ourselves as well… isn’t that better than being pissed off all the time?
Look I get it, harnessing anger and frustration can be a powerful motivator in business… especially today, when shifts in technology and consumer behaviors are creating an opportunity to finally right so many wrongs. And, please don’t get me wrong. We can’t let being kind change the moral imperatives of our struggle. Right is still right. Change must come. But, what if we were to strive to bring about those changes while being intentionally kind to everyone we meet… even, the ones with whom we disagree? Would creating change be more fun? Would it be easier?
I think it just might.
Sure, there may be some who think that kindness isn’t very “rock ’n roll.” But, maybe kindness is so not rock ’n roll that it’s kinda… rock ’n roll? Dare I say, even a little… punk rock? I don’t know, seems pretty cool to me.
Care to give it a try?
“Grace. It’s a name for a girl. It’s also a thought that changed the world.” - U2
This reminds me of a line in this poem by Clive James... https://archive.clivejames.com/poetry/lecons.htm ... I think it also inspired the Frank Turner song "Be More Kind".